Hey, kids! The Yamucha Densetsu has a new layout. Now lots of stuff says other stuff when you hover over it. Think of it as an Easter egg with no chocolate or any other positive attributes. Check it out! You know, the Yamucha Densetsu is different from a lot of Dragon Ball character fansite by 1) being run by me, Mr. Amazing and 2) calling a spade a spade when it comes to our character for choice. This is a fancy way of saying I call Yamucha a pillock a lot.
But you know, character sites usually try to “big up” their character, to make them seem more important and impressive in order to recruit more followers into their cult. So here’s my attempt at this today.
Yamucha is the father of Goten and you can’t prove me wrong.
What? No! Don't look! Not evidence!
Conventional wisdom has it that sometime prior to the Cell Games, Goku and Chichi got it on in a bow-chikka-chikka scene covered in fantastic gynecological detail in several fine Dragon Ball hentai publications. Which is, of course, nonsense. Goku has no sex drive. Unless Chichi told him it was a type of sandwich there is no way that happened.
Besides, the entire Artificial Human/Cell arc took place in May of 767 according to the Daizenshu’s and Goten was born that same year. Did Chichi pop this kid out early or something? Maybe something heavy fell on her stomach and Goten was shot out of her like a cannonball. PEW PEW PEW!
But let’s say we just accept this. Chichi got knocked up around the Cell Games. If it was earlier, she would have shown some sign of pregnancy such as irrationality, a foul temper and… oh. So when did Goku get it on? When all this Artificial Human shit was going down? When he was dying of heart disease? When he was lounging around with Gohan prior to the tournament itself?
No. Goku is not the father. But who would have the opportunity, the motive and the means to impregnate a lonely housewife.
Cat loves lonely housewives! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Bingo.
Goku’s dying. Chichi is vulnerable. Yamucha feels the need to assert his manliness after Old Man Artificial Human brought him to the brink of the death. That whole losing Bulma to the Prince of Widow’s Peaks probably still rankled too. So, probably while the both of them were doped up from stealing Goku’s medication, Yamucha and Chichi pounded one out. And then, boom baby!
Now, I know you’re saying “That’s stupid. Chibi Goten looks EXACTLY like Goku as a kid. Explain that, Mr. Delicious.” To which I say, “So what?” Half the male cast share the same face anyway. Style Yamucha’s hair and put some make up over those scars and he could double for almost everyone except Kuririn. Hell, in close ups when you can’t see the full outline of his hair, his scars are the only thing to distinguish him from Goku anyway. I know Chichi styling his hair like Goku’s is enough to fool the unobservant Saiyan but I didn’t think you people would fall for it too. For shame.
And later in the series, when Chichi forgets to keep up the pretense, what do we get? The truth, that’s what.
Whoa, even I can't tell 'em apart!
So there you have it. Irrefutable proof that Yamucha is the father of Goten. With that, I say– Huh? How does Goten become a Super Saiyan if he’s the son of Chichi and Yamucha? That’s a very interesting question!
…
Bye!
Hey, peeps! I'm back from my unscheduled hiatus. Exciting times.
Nice One. I actually speculated about this myself for around 15 minutes before running into the problem encountered at the end of this article.
Thanks for the funny!
-Incompetent Overlord
Chichi must be a Saiyan!
And Gohan is actually the son of….someone else.
This article was great btw.
Hey man, haven’t commented on these before, but I’ve been a long time reader. Shame on me. But yeah, the Team Four Star guys and I found this site a while back, and we all freakin love it. Best Dragonball site on the net, in my opinion. Keep up the good work…yeah, yeah, yeah!
Cheers,
Xingba
simple placebo effect…
Goten dosn’t know that his father is yamcha, and he thinks, my father can do it, my brother can do it, why can’t I? that’s actually why he dose it so young.
(also why he is born without a tail)
but who is the real father of trunks….?
Real father of Trunks must be Trunks from the future…… Little time and space paradox, so who really is the Future Trunks????
K, the whole point of a time/space paradox is that it’s paradoxical, meaning it doesn’t make sense. That kind of paradox leads back towards the same area as the grandfather paradox, where you some how manage to become your own grandfather. Or to Red Dwarf. Lister’s his own father, his ex-girlfriend’s his mum, and the whole thing’s just wrong anyways.
As for Goten being Yamcha’s kid… LOL!!! There is no way. Just because he’s drawn a little similar… And as for your “signs of pregnancy”, Chici’s ALWAYS like that. Gohan and Goten share familial resemblences to Goku. Gohan’s hair in Cell Saga was remarkably like Goku’s anyways. Goten grew up without Goku, and yet his personality is remarkably similar. Yamcha’s is nowhere close. Neither is Chichi’s. The child-like innocence that is always seen in Goku is passed on to his kids as well. Young boys need a role model in young age, someone they style themselves after. If Yamcha had been the father, he would’ve been the role model. Goten also calls Goku “Daddy”, indicating that Chichi has told him about his father. Goku is not truly surprised to find out about Goten, merely curious, indicating he knew it was a possibility.
For all his child-like wonder, Goku is not stupid. And everyone was surprised to find out about Gohan (Krillin, Yamcha, Master Roshi, Bulma), so only Goku could be his father. This refutes the anti-sex drive evidence. Furthermore, the way Vegeta feels about his children indicates he is their father, and thus revealing that Vegeta has a sex drive, though it never shows. The show is not about sex, therefore their sex drives do not show. Yamcha’s shows because he’s a dork and doesn’t fight much anymore.
This is my counterargument. Now counter that one, buddy.
dude, don’t take it so seriously. you’re gonna burst a f***ing blood vessel. we’re just screwing around, we know it’s not true.
and the futur trunk by the way must be prefesor brief when he was younger! he’s the only one who has access to capsule corp technology and shares similarities in appearance with trunks.
by the way, there is sexual content in dragonball, it was censured to the point of redicularity in english, but if yousee it in any other language yo can see it. check the censured parts on youtube.
Zuch: Yawnorama
Cat loves lonely housewives, yeah yeah yeah yeah.
This is amazing! As always, I can’t wait for more, I check this everyday!
Lies lies. That’s your belief, but it’s actually Goku’s son…Akira Toriyama even said so in his Daizenshuu Guides back in mid-1990s, in the character and family chart sections.
Since Goten can go SSJ, the answer is obvious . . . it was not Yamcha but Future Trunks! ; ) Goten just took after his mom more so that would explain why he does not look like Trunks that much. With Future Trunks’s time machine, he could have done it at any point in the Cell saga. Being from a future with very few eligible women it only makes sense Trunks would search for a MILF. XD
There is one piece of evidence against your argument, but i am going to counter against my own argument and provide an explanation.
Goten can become a super saiyan.
BUT! Yamcha is still the father. The super saiyan gene could work like an STD. Just like they say, when you have sex with one person, you’re having sex with every other person they have had sex with. sooooo… yeah. Goten is a super saiyan, but yamcha is still the father.
so… goten had sex with a super saiyan??
no… If the Super Saiyan trait works like an STD like I think it does, Chi chi acquired it from Goku from having sex with him, and passed it to goten when she and yamcha had him.
Ok wait!!!! In one of the episodes Raditz said that Goku and him were brothers and that a Meteorite hit their planet whiping out the entire saiyan population including their mother and father!!